


In the Moonlight (Do Me)

by till_owlyglass



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Humor, M/M, benarmie, some slight homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 06:24:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11984010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/till_owlyglass/pseuds/till_owlyglass
Summary: It begins with Hux marching up to Ben one lunchtime and demanding that he be his boyfriend.





	In the Moonlight (Do Me)

**XXX**

 

It begins with Hux marching up to Ben one lunchtime and demanding that he be his boyfriend.

Ben Solo for his part is dumbfounded, as one often is when one feels that all of their birthdays and Christmases have come at once. Blessedly, this moment of hesitation gives him the time he needs to realise that the word _pretend_ had been spoken as well.

It’s Hux’s darkening expression which finally prompts him to respond, “What the fuck?” he blurts.

“You needn’t look so scandalised. I need a favour in order to make a point, that’s all.”

This neither enlightens nor reassures Ben in the slightest, “Yeah, but, Hux...what the actual fuck?”

Hux sighs, “I told Brendol and Maratelle that I’m gay.”

“Oh shit. Wow. How did that go?”

“Surprisingly not terrible. Maratelle acted all smug like she’d known all along.” Hux rolls his eyes.

Ben hesitates to ask, “And...your dad?”

“Well, he didn’t lose his temper and throw me out of the house, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Wait, you thought your dad might actually do that?”

“I think my father is capable of a lot of things.” Hux sniffs, “Anyway, all he did was get all gruff and tell me ‘not to rub it in his face.’”

Oh God. Now Ben understood why Hux was so hell-bent on making a point. Saying something like that to Hux was like waving a red flag in front of a bull.

“Okay, but you’ve only just came out to them. I don’t think it’s a good idea to get all militant and antagonise them if your dad is the way you say he is.” Ben reasons, despite the fact that Hux is too damn proud and stubborn to be reasoned with. Ben knows this well, he has, after all, secretly been madly in love with Hux and all his faults for several years.

“I disagree. The sooner they learn that me living my life is not ‘rubbing it in their faces’, the better.”

And of course stupid lovesick Ben relents, he’d do anything for Hux, after all, “Okay, fine! What do you need me to do?”

“Come over for dinner tomorrow, I’ve already told Maratelle to set an extra place, I’ll tell them that you’ve been my boyfriend for a few months, and then we proceed to make a scene. Simple.”

“Oh fuck this is such a bad idea.” Ben tries not to think about how the fact that Hux had already prepared his stepmother for a guest meant that he was certain all along that Ben would agree.

“Suck it up, Solo. If you help me pull this off then I’ll do your chemistry homework for a month.”

Now that was an offer Ben could not refuse.

  **XXX**

 

Ben is late. Which is brilliant. Perfect, really. Brendol and Maratelle are such sticklers for punctuality that he’s successfully managed to irritate them with the _lack_ of his presence. Hux’s father is clearly unamused, he sits drumming his fingers upon the arms of his chair; meanwhile Maratelle is getting fidgety and looks seconds away from suggesting that they start dinner without him, lest the casserole be spoilt.

Then comes a frantic pounding on the front door, which Hux duly goes to answer. He’s barely gotten the door open and already Ben is stepping in close and crushing him into a hug. Hux is momentarily stunned; this is new.

“Sorry I’m late, babe.” Ben announces loudly, “I nearly ran over some old lady on the way here.”

“You did _what_?” Hux splutters, partly because of the sheer absurdity of Ben’s statement, but mostly because Ben has just reached down and cupped his arse. In full view of the wide open doorway to the lounge. Where his parents are currently sitting.

“Yeah. Turns out you _are_ actually supposed to pause at Stop signs. Who knew!”

Ben finally unhands Hux (and his arse) and reaches back outside to pick up his backpack and, bizarrely, an acoustic guitar. As he does so, Hux notices that Ben has driven over in his dad’s truck; a clunky old thing with an ugly outer space scene paint job. Hux is surprised, it’s not Ben’s usual mode of transportation, usually Leia lets him use her practical eco-friendly Honda (or if that’s unavailable then his uncle occasionally lends him his well-loved vintage Mustang which once belonged to Ben’s grandfather), plus Han is fiercely protective of ‘the Falcon’ as he calls it. Hux decides that Ben has chosen the Falcon deliberately, knowing full-well that its unapologetic tackiness will rub up his parents the wrong way.

Hux leads Ben into the lounge and finds his parents already looking shell-shocked; Maratelle is flushed and glancing uncomfortably around the room and Brendol’s eyes are bulging. Ah, they definitely saw the butt grab, then.

“I’m sure you’re both wondering why I have invited Ben to dinner tonight.” Hux begins pompously, “Well, since you’re both now aware of my...proclivities I decided I may as well also inform you that Ben is my boyfriend. And has been for some months.”

“Well, at this point it’s more like _lover_ , right babe?” Ben chuckles, wrapping an arm around Hux’s waist and tugging him against his side. There is a long silence, Brendol and Maratelle look scandalised.

“You nearly ran someone over on the way here, did I hear that correctly?” Brendol finally says, his voice steely.

“Yeah.” Ben nods enthusiastically, a dumb grin plastered over his face, “Some old lady with a walker just appeared out of nowhere. But don’t worry, she got up okay and was yelling a lot, so I’m _pretty sure_ she’s fine!”

“You said you _nearly_ ran her over, if you knocked her down then you clearly did hit her!”

“Well, the phrase ‘run over’ implies literal _going over,_ so I suppose the more accurate term in this situation would maybe be ‘grazed’? Or possibly ‘clipped’?” Ben ponders aloud.

Brendol’s expression is utter incredulity; meanwhile Maratelle’s is one of distaste as she eyes Ben up and down and clearly finds him wanting when it comes to meeting her exacting fashion standards. Hux doesn’t entirely disagree; Ben is wearing a ragged old t-shirt (which Hux knows for a fact he only keeps for when he’s doing yard work) and...are those _camo pants_? Dear lord, where did he _get_ those?!

“Maratelle, the casserole?” Hux prompts. With a gasp she scurries away to attend to it, muttering to herself about it hopefully not being burnt. Brendol meanwhile wordlessly sweeps into the dining room, without waiting for them to follow.

Hux gives Ben a smile of pure glee and, after taking Ben’s backpack and guitar and depositing them on the sofa, grasps him by the hand and escorts him to take their places at the table.

Maratelle flits back and forth, filling water glasses and depositing plates of steaming food in front of everyone. She only just takes her seat and Ben asks for the salt and pepper.

Hux sees her visibly stiffen, “Don’t you want to taste it first?” she asks, her voice tight.

“No.” Ben replies.

Clearly not wanting to cause a scene, and adhere to the traditional rule of indulging a guest’s whims, Maratelle bites her tongue and goes to fetch them.

“And I’ll take some ketchup too, if you’ve got it!” Ben shouts after her.

When she returns, Maratelle slams them down on the table in front of Ben and sits with an expression like she’s been sucking on lemons. Ben makes a show of using the salt and pepper liberally.

“So,” he says, smacking the upended bottom of the ketchup bottle to slather his plate with sauce, “White people; can they season food? Thoughts?”

Hux laughs and reaches for the ketchup too. Brendol and Maratelle seem to have wordlessly agreed to pretend they didn’t hear. For several minutes the only sounds are Ben scraping and clanking his cutlery and slurping when he drinks his water.

 “How is your mother doing these days, Ben?” Brendol asks. Hux knows this is merely polite small talk, his father can’t actually stand Leia, who is a member of the local government. In fact, he once heard Brendol call her a ‘Liberal harpy’.   

“Pretty good. You know, politicking, the usual.” Ben shrugs, “Actually, I’ve been thinking about maybe following her into it. I think I could really do some good. Create a three day working week, legalise weed, important stuff!”

Brendol has frozen with his fork halfway to his open mouth.

“Hey, babe, have I told you about my idea to solve the financial crisis?”

Hux plays along, “No, Ben, you haven’t. Please do, I’m sure my parents would be _fascinated_ to hear.”

“It’s really simple, just print more money!” Ben punctuates this with a flourish of his fork which flicks ketchup onto the pristine white tablecloth, “Oops! Sorry!” he laughs, making as if to wipe it up but only succeeding in smearing it around.

“Oh, Ben, you always have such marvellous ideas!” Hux gushes, propping his chin on his hand and fluttering his eyelashes.

“You cannot be serious!” Brendol interjects, “That is a terrible economic system! Surely you’ve studied the Weimar Republic at school?”

“The Wine-Ma Republic? Nope, doesn’t ring a bell. Sorry.” Ben shrugs.

Brendol shakes his head and mutters something in an undertone to Maratelle about the “youth of today”.

Ben continues to monologue about his totally new and original plan for fixing the economy throughout the rest of dinner until Maratelle steps up to clear his plate.

“Thanks, Mrs. H.” he says, using the tablecloth to dab at the corners of his mouth, “That was delicious.”

Maratelle hums in tight-lipped acknowledgement to his compliment.

“Although,” Ben continues, reaching to take Hux’s hand, “Given the situation, perhaps I should start calling you _mom_.”

“Oh, yes! That’s lovely, Ben, you should!” Hux responds enthusiastically, squeezing Ben’s hand and adopting a suitably adoring expression

 Maratelle literally flinches, “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” she protests in a weak voice. Brendol’s glare clearly conveys that if Ben tries to call him ‘dad’ then there will be trouble.

After the table is cleared they retire to the lounge again and Maratelle makes tea for her and Brendol. Hux is beginning to wonder if perhaps he and Ben should begin getting touchy-feely on the sofa when Ben stands up quite formally.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I actually have a gift for everybody.” he announces, picking up his guitar, “I’ve written a song for Armitage, and I’d like to perform it now to thank you both for having me in your lovely home and welcoming me into your family.” He settles down on the arm of the sofa closest to Hux and makes a show of pretending to tune the guitar, fiddling with the tuning pegs. Hux catches Brendol and Maratelle sharing a dubious glance.

“I didn’t think you could actually play. You told me you gave up after a few lessons.” Hux mutters.

“I know enough.” Ben grunts.

He begins by strumming a repetitive chord, then he starts to sing, “The stars are falling from the sky, and you’re the reason why. The moon is shining on your face, and I finally think it’s found its place.”

Hux is shocked, he’s never heard Ben sing before and he’s surprisingly...not bad. Really rather good actually. He sneaks a glance at his parents and sees that Brendol is listening with one eyebrow raised, his expression otherwise blank, while Maratelle has put on her “listening politely” face, genteelly sipping from her teacup.

Ben then switches to another chord for the chorus, “’Cause maybe, baby, I just wanna _do_ you, do you. Do you wanna do me, do me, underneath the moonlight, the moonlight tonight?”

Maratelle’s cup collides with its saucer with a sharp _clink_ and Hux hears her gasp. From the corner of his eye he sees Brendol’s head tilt in a bemused way which would have been comical if Hux hadn’t been trying so hard to retain his serious expression. Ben, to his credit manages to keep his face straight too, though Hux can see the telltale twitches of the corners of his mouth, and starts the next part of the chorus with gusto.

“Baby, maybe, maybe I will _steal_ you, steal you. Just so I could feel you, feel you. Maybe that would heal you, heal you on the inside.”

Brendol’s head tilts again and his mouths snaps open, no doubt to intervene and put a stop to the performance, but whatever he had been about to say is interrupted by Ben launching passionately into the bridge.

“Underneath the willow treeeeeeeeeeee! Wearing nothing else but meeeeeeee-"

“Excuse me!” Brendol barks, cutting Ben off. Hux’s father takes a breath, visibly forcing himself to calm, then continues in a voice which is eerily quiet and devoid of emotion, “How dare you. How dare you come into my home and sing that filth. In front of my wife!”

“Hey, relax, Mr. H! There ain’t nothing filthy about making love.” Ben grins. And Hux can’t help it, he laughs, because Ben just managed to push _so many_ of Brendol’s buttons in a single sentence; being told to relax, being called an abbreviation of his name, poor grammar and the phrase ‘making love’.

There is a beat of stunned silence and then Brendol is on his feet, wrenching Ben up by the collar of his t-shirt and frogmarching him out the room, “Out! Out of my house!” he orders, pushing both Ben and guitar out the front door then slamming it in his face.

He returns to the lounge, red-faced, and sees Hux standing holding Ben’s backpack which got left behind after Ben’s sudden ejection.

And then they hear Ben’s voice again, he’s standing in the middle of the front lawn continuing his song, screaming loud enough that they can hear him clearly despite the double glazing, “Armie, Armie, this is why you need me. Relieve me. Close your eyes and breathe deep, and breathe deep.  Let me set your mind free, until the sunrise!”

Brendol snatches the backpack from Hux’s hands and strides back over to the door, wrenching it open, “Go home!” he roars, throwing the backpack out and once again slamming the door.

“Oh God, the neighbours heard all of that.” Maratelle moans, covering her face with her hands.

“I’m sure you found that very funny and imagine yourself to be very clever.” Brendol spits, rounding on Hux.

“Me? I had nothing to do with this!” Hux protests, hoping his expression looks suitably innocent and dumfounded.

“I’m familiar enough with your devious mind to know with complete certainty that you are the architect behind this fiasco. Apologise to your mother for subjecting her to such vulgarity.”

Hux doesn’t bother saying that Maratelle is not his mother, his defiant expression says it all.

“Apologise, boy.” Brendol growls, looming closer over him.

Hux relents, “Forgive me, Maratelle, for subjecting you to such vulgarity.” he recites in monotone.

Maratelle doesn’t say anything, merely sighs a longsuffering sigh and gets up to take her teacup into the kitchen.

“I don’t want to see that dim-witted boy near this house for the foreseeable future, understand?” Brendol jabs his finger in Hux’s chest for emphasis, then disappears into his study.

Reasoning that they’re both angry enough that they don’t give a shit what he does as long as he stays out of their way, Hux decides to retrieve his bicycle from the garage and head over to Ben’s house. Despite Ben having a head start in Han’s old van, Hux takes a shortcut through a wooded park and ends up arriving just as Ben pulls into his driveway.

Ben doesn’t look surprised to see him, instead he leans back against the van with a smug grin, “So, did my performance satisfy?”

“Perfect. Brendol is furious and believes we’ve scarred Maratelle for life. So, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Ben nods.

“What did you say to get Han to let you borrow the Falcon?”

Ben winces, “I promised him I’d help out in the auto shop every weekend for a month.”

“Well at least you won’t have to worry about your chemistry homework while you work.” Hux quips.

“Yeah, I guess not.” Ben chuckles.

“And where on Earth did you get these hideous trousers?” Hux asks, plucking at the offending camo.

“Oh. Goodwill.”

Hux is oddly touched, “You bought camo pants for me?”

“I guess I did. And I can’t wait to take them off and burn them.” They laugh at Ben’s overdramatic statement, but really Hux knows that Ben will just donate them again so the charity can make a little more money off them.

“So, that song was crazy. Did you find it on the internet or something?”

Ben’s face colours and he glances away, clearly bashful, “Okay, you can’t laugh, not after what I just did for you. Uh, I kinda wrote it myself.”

“You...wrote it yourself?” Hux says, trying and failing to suppress his smirk.

“Hey! I said you can’t laugh, you dick! Yeah, I wrote it. Years ago when I was learning to play the guitar, dreaming I was going to be the next big thing. I figured it was just crude enough and just crap enough to give your parents a heart attack.”

“Are you going to tell me who your muse was?”

Curiously, Ben’s face reddens even more, “Shut up.” he mutters, abruptly turning and disappearing around the back of the van to take out his backpack and guitar.

Hux, who had only asked in order to tease him, is intrigued by his dramatic reaction and, not one to let a mystery lie, follows him.

“Oh my God, you totally did! You wrote a crappy erotic love song over someone you had a crush on! Who was it? Do they go to our school?”           Hux sits down in the back of the van, preventing Ben from closing the back doors.

“Jeez, Hux, do you have to be such a shit after everything I just did for you?” Ben groans.

“Did you ever play it for them?”

“I...sort of.” Ben is fiddling with the zip on his backpack, avoiding Hux’s gaze.

“What does that mean? Sort of?” Hux presses, relentless.

Ben stares at him for a long moment, “It means,” he begins tentatively, then seems to change his mind, “Look, Hux, just drop it. Please?”

Hux regards him suspiciously, with narrowed eyes. Ben’s voice has taken on a desperate, pleading tone and Hux...is beginning to suspect something.

“Was it Phasma?” he demands.

Ben’s expression is incredulous, “Oh my God! Hux, _seriously_?”

“What? It’s a perfectly reasonable question!”

“She’s a lesbian, Hux. And I’ve known since I met her. Why the fuck would I write a love song about a lesbian?” Ben is beginning to lose his temper, his voice rising.

“It may have been unrequited.” Hux snaps.

“You know, for a genius on the honor roll you sure can be dense.”

Hux is offended, “Excuse me?”

“I wrote it about you, you dumb fuck!” Ben explodes, kicking one of the Falcon’s back doors.

Hux is speechless. Ben walks away down to the end of the drive and stands for a moment with his back to Hux, rubbing his hands over his face. When he walks back his anger is under control and his face is transformed into a studiously blank mask.

“There, are you happy now? I wrote that stupid shitty song about you when I was fifteen and madly in love with you.” he flops down next to Hux to lie on his stomach in the back of the van, his face buried in his folded arms, “You can go ahead and yell at me now.”

Hux doesn’t want to yell. He isn’t angry, just confused, “I didn’t know you like guys.” he finally says.

At first Ben doesn’t say anything, and then he responds in a very small voice, “You were the first.”

“Oh. Okay.” Hux doesn’t exactly know how to process that information, “Does anyone else know?”

“I haven’t actually told my mom or dad yet. But...I think they suspect. My mom keeps dropping hints and occasionally saying these super liberal and inclusive things.”

“That’s nice.” Hux murmurs. It sounds a little insincere out loud but he genuinely does mean it. It’s not the first time he’s thought this about Ben’s parents; sometimes he’s even wondered what it would be like to live as a member of the Skywalker-Organa-Solo clan.

“Hux, if you’re angry with me then I totally understand.”

“Ben, I’m not angry. Really.”

A silence descends between them, it’s not awkward...just contemplative.

“So...when did you stop being madly in love with me?” Hux meant it to be a joke, something to break the silence and ease the tension. But Ben lifts his head and stares at him with those sad brown eyes and suddenly Hux knows the answer.

“Oh.” he breathes.

“Yeah.” Ben replies softly.

Silence falls again, this one longer than the last.

“Listen,” Hux blurts nervously before he can chicken out and never ever say what’s currently on his mind, “I have a new proposal, okay? How about...instead of doing your chemistry homework for a month to pay you back for helping me piss off Brendol, I become your boyfriend. Like for real.”

Ben gapes at him, astonished, “Hux.” and his voice is suddenly so full of hurt, “Don’t fuck around. I can’t bear it if you-“

Hux cuts him off by swaying forward and kissing him hard. Ben makes a surprised sound but is quick to return the kiss, rolling onto his back and pulling Hux with him until he’s lying stretched the length of Ben’s long body. They kiss like this for several minutes, gradually getting more frantic until Hux is forced to break apart when he feels a problem stirring beneath his belt.

Panting, he remains lying atop Ben, who gazes up at him with undisguised adoration. Hux’s eyes begin to sting; no one has ever looked at him like that before. He brushes Ben’s dark hair back from his face and runs his fingertip down the bridge of his crooked nose, leaning down to place a kiss upon the tip.

“Do you still think I’m fucking around?” he whispers.

Ben laughs breathlessly and caresses Hux’s cheek with the back of his fingers, “Okay, I believe you. And I accept your new proposal.”

“I am glad we’re in agreement.” Hux says smugly, “And maybe, Ben Solo, if you’re very lucky, you may get a chance to _do me underneath the moonlight_.”

“Oh my god! Fuck you! Shut up!”

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to watch the original hilarious scene from Modern Family which inspired this fic then [click right here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oo9U0EQHo9o) Ed O'Neill's reaction is exactly how I imagined Brendol's reaction. And yes, for like a week after Brendol probably catches himself singing the song in the shower or shaving or whatever and is ENRAGED.
> 
> PLEASE [watch the music video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XikLpDCbasY) to hear the full version of the song because it's hilarious and genuinely a great song, in my opinion. I end up singing it under my breath to myself ALL THE TIME. Also imagine Ben at dinner cutting his food in that slow penetrating way in Hux's direction and staring at him with what he imagines is a super sexy and sultry smoulder.
> 
>  
> 
> [Talk to me on Tumblr, maybe?](http://thenameisgreed.tumblr.com/)


End file.
